Where I've Been and Why You Won't Care

Life has a way of showing you the beauty and magic in even the most troubling times. Wait.. no. That is bull $h#*. I'm thinking of someone else's life. My life has a way of showing me tragedy in even the most beautiful circumstances. 

I haven't updated this blog in quite some time but before you start trying to crucify me (you bunch of uncaring onlookers) I have a good explanation. In fact, I have more excuses than you do for not reading my old posts. Anyone can play the blame game. Lets be civil.. 

The truth is... life has been a bit overwhelming. Some big news... GOOD NEWS... but very, very big news has come to light. After 3 years of "trying" my Wife and I are expecting another child. On a side note, whenever a couple tells me that they were "trying" I almost instantly picture them having and ungodly amount of sex. Anyways, no time to get into that. Just know that if you have ever shared with me how long you were "trying" before you were blessed with your little bundle of joy, I was picturing you doing the dirty... but at the same time, thrilled for you and your little blessing.

Now, I'm not the kind to get overly emotional about things like this but I had an opportunity to hear my unborn baby's heartbeat for the first time and they even snapped a little picture. I can't wait to meet him/her. I have that feeling all over again that I had when I found out my daughter was on the way. It is unbelievably strange knowing that this little parasite dwelling in my wife will someday grow into a human that I will love like no other. He or she will someday call me daddy, sit on my shoulders, go through a time of complete resentment and hopefully get over it in time to call me daddy again. My Dad wasn't around much and as much as I don't understand why, I love that we have an opportunity to change things for our kids. 

Also, we have a new Bevmo by my house giving me access to more beer. I've been busy because of that as well... drinking lots of beer. 

Cheers and take care! 

Beer and Food: A Match Made In Heaven.

As much as I'd like to see craft beer culture stay clear of the pompous snobbery often times associated with modern wine culture, I also believe that, like wine, craft beer is by nature an artisan product and should be treated as such. In other words, while I hate to see a man or woman holding a craft beer while prancing around like some aristocrat elitist, using words like "cretin" or "mundane"... I also hate the imagery of a bunch of closet case frat boys tying each other up while spraying Pabst Blue Ribbon all over each other. I haven't chugged a beer since I was 19... 21 and I don't encourage such behavior. We must find balance in all things, yes? 


The truth is, craft beer is a lot like wine in that it is intended to be appreciated and explored. The brewers took special care to create a unique and enjoyable experience, not some mass produced, low-end beverage served at freezing temperatures to hide it's flavorless qualities. Craft beer is also like wine in that when paired with food, it makes the experience all that much better. Beer and food can be paired together to bring out new flavors within each and make your experience that much more enjoyable. 

If you are new to beer/food pairing, there are some basic rules you can follow. If you are familiar with pairing wine with food think of it as if ales are red wine and lagers are white. As taste is subjective, the key is to experiment with complimentary and contrasting pairings. You don't want the beer you are pairing your food with to be so dominant that if overshadows the flavors of the dish. Instead, you want the combination to  bring out the flavors in each other and create a unique experience. Although it is fun to get all wild and crazy like with pairings, for a quick reference, I have provided some common beer styles and some good pairing options. Enjoy


Pale Ale: This is a very versatile style which is why it tends to be my "go-to" beer for lunch or a simple meal. This beer goes great with burgers, chicken, fish and american cheese. 


India Pale Ale: One of my personal favorites, this overly hopped beer can often times over power a light dish with it's bitter, bad self. I tend to pair this with spicy dishes such as cajun or Indian. If you love curry, this beer will make you cry with joy.  


Porter: Being a master of the grill, I tend to pair a good Porter with all things "smokey." Porters go very well with barbequed steaks, sausages and roasts. I also love putting this in any homemade bbq sauce and as far as cheese goes, you can't beat Porter and Gruy're.  


Stout: BEEF. Stouts are made for beef... well, that and oysters. Really, if you are eating anything big and hearty, you can't go wrong with a stout.

Amber/Red: I tend to pair this beer with light meats like chicken or fish but also goes great with mexican food. Any kind of cheese with a "kick" would be nicely paired with an Amber. 


Pilsner: Not one of my favorite styles of beer but they do go well with lighter meals such as chicken and salmon.

Coors Light: This pairs nicely with Kid Rock, wife beatin'  and Kraft singles. 


I'll make a more detailed list with more interesting beer styles soon but in the meantime, have fun pairing good food and good beer and don't forget... pinkies out, gentlemen. 

I Saw The Sign and It Opened Up My Eyes.

You know, I always try to do what I can to help a needy person out on the streets with a dollar or two here and a sandwich there. What can I say, there have been many times in my life when I was one paycheck away from being there myself.

There was, however, one incident recently that I am having a difficult time wrapping my head around. It kind of threw me off a bit and... well, let me just tell you the story. 

I had just finished shopping at my favorite grocery store, trying to stock up on the basic necessities of life like peanut butter and pale ale and was on my way out of the parking lot. As I approached the rear exit that I use to avoid the traffic heading the other direction, I noticed a homeless man standing there holding a a rather large sign with marker scribbling on it. Now, I don't know if it was because the sun was glaring in my eyes or because I had failed to wash my windshield for the past 4 months, but the sign he was holding was in no way clear or even slightly legible. It didn't matter anyways as in my mind,  most of the signs say the same thing; something about needing help and God Bless. Now, to be honest with you, times had been hard in terms of finances... I had just started a new job and the gap in pay had taken its toll on my wallet. To top it off, my Wife had sent me to the store with very strict instructions to spend as little as possible and I had already broken that rule with the six pack of Sierra Nevada that I so very much deserved. I couldn't possibly help this guy out during such financial hardship. It would be irresponsible and unreasonable to do so. 

Still, I felt this strange tugging at my heart and I knew that I had two dollars in my pocket.. Surely, the two dollars would be better spent for this man to feed himself than for me to spend on an overpriced coffee or something less important than the basic necessity that is food. My Wife may get upset, but conviction is conviction and I felt that for some reason, somehow I was put there, in that very situation,  to give this man the money. For the first time, I believed that fate had put me there and that giving my last two dollars to this needy man was all part of some divine plan that was much larger than myself.

As I pull up next to the man, I eagerly roll down my window and let out a, "here you go, man!" as he slowly approached my car. It was a great feeling of selflessness and although he blocked the sun as he approached my vehicle, leaving the bright light surrounding him, I could see a cheerful smile on the man's face. The closer he came, the more he blocked out the sun and just as he reached my car, hand extended, smile from ear to ear,  his sign become clear... 

Ouch. Turns out fate can be quite the enabler. 

I WAS MAD. How selfish... how rude. There are people out there starving, this is the last little bit of cash I had on me ,which could have went to help someone buy food.. and this guy... this guy right here, is asking for it for beer?  You messed up, Buddy, because you are about to get a piece of my mind! As he reaches for the money, I couldn't hold it in anymore. I looked him straight in the eyes and loudly said:

"No problem, Brother. Have one on me!"

Shame. Could I possibly be so insecure... so narcissistic, that I was not only too worried about what this drunken con artist thought of me but that I even changed my speech pattern and wording to fit in with him? Oh yeah, here you go... take my money to buy booze, just don't think I'm not cool with it... that would destroy me. I'm pretty sure that I need therapy. But what would the therapist think of me? 

Oh well, At least I have my own six pack. 

Craft Beer vs Water.

Why do people feel that they need to consume three gallons of water a day? It's actually a bit of a pet peeve of mine. I watch as people sit in a shady park, little to no movement occurring as they pull out a giant water bottle and start squirting away, completely oblivious to how overhydrated they are becoming. No, I don't believe that "overhydrated" is a word, but hyponatremia is, and their severe lack of sodium is not only dangerous but annoying to observers. So, I say with no shame... water is overrated! In fact, you could make the argument that beer is by far more beneficial than water. Don't believe me? Check this out:

Reasons that Craft Beer is Better Than Water:

Beer Contains Water: That is right folks, the average beer is made up of over 90% water. On the other hand, water contains no beer. Which one sounds like the better deal? 

Beer Has Many Health Benefits, Yet Water Is Dangerous: Medical professionals claim that drinking beer in moderation (1-2 per day) reduces the chances of stroke, as well as heart and vascular disease. Now, compare that to the fact that statistically 2 people per minute DROWN in water and I think we can come to the conclusion that beer is the safer choice. 

Beer is Made By Artisans, The Source of Water Remains a Mystery: When you invest in a good, quality craft beer, you are investing in a product that was crafted with care and quality ingredients. Yet, scientists are boggled by the phenomenon of H20 falling from the sky. 

Beer Makes You Smarter: It is a historical fact that Plato, Hemingway, Churchill, Einstein and Franklin all commonly spoke of drinking beer, yet... there is no evidence to imply that they ever consumed a single drop of water.

Case Closed. 

10 Commonly Observed Facebook Faux Pas.

Look, I'm like everyone else in the modern world in that social media has become a major part of my everyday life. After all, if not for the magical world of Facebook and Twitter how would I ever know that my childhood friend just got engaged or that my High School girlfriend just had her eighth kid? I wouldn't, which is why I check in with Facebook more often than Charlie Sheen checks into rehab. What can I say.. I love the attention it offers and it doesn't help that I have started measuring my self worth by how many "likes" I can accumulate. I have also, however, personally observed a number of activities on Facebook that I believe occur outside of what is considered "human-like" behavior. I've narrowed it down to the top five for your reading pleasure:

1. Talking Smack About Facebook... on Facebook. Look, ultra cool hipster guy, I understand that it puts a damper on your look-good to admit that you are on there for the same reason that the rest of us are, to stalk... network with others, but it's getting a little old.

2. Acting As If You Are Making a General Observation in an Update, When in Fact You Are Sending a Personal Message. I'm just saying that I have noticed that SOME PEOPLE like to act as if they are speaking generally but are actually publicly airing a grievance. You know who you are...

3.  Talking About Illegal Activities on Facebook. Yeah, Brah... I'm like... totally stoked that you are blazin' it right now but you just like... TOTALLY incriminated yourself.

4. Liking a Girls Update When She Goes From "In a Relationship" to "Single". Yeah, she just ended a long term relationship and is going to be completely blown away by your "liking" of it. Here is an illustration.. You hear it this way---> Joe Likes This... awwww. Okay? She hears it this way----> Joe liiiiikkkkeesss this... in creepy predator voice. See the difference?

5. Changing Your Relationship Status in Anger. Erica is In a relationship. Erica changed her relationship status to "It's Complicated." Erica changed her relationship status to "single" Erica changed her relationship status to "engaged." Yeah, we know that you're fighting.

Scam, Scam, Thank You Ma'am.

Now, I may not be the brightest tool in the tree, but I can recognize a scam when I see one. In fact, for the most part, I've learned to embrace and even appreciate a creative, well thought out scam when it comes around. Can you say Enron? Classic. Tragic.


Still... just as I have learned to appreciate a good scam, I have developed an equally powerful distaste for poor ones. I mean, really... If you are going to try to take someones money illegally you should at least try to add a little production value here and there. Work for it a little, guy.  I want forged endorsements from celebrities and elaborate, yet somewhat reasonable promises of good things for me and my family. Treat me well, play to my emotions and PERHAPS... I'll be fooled. But this email that I received the other day just didn't do it for me. It's just.. well.. I'll let you check it out:


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From: Geller, Mike


I am Mrs.Halifat Mohammed, a Muslim.I have picked your email address for an inheritance of £18.2million Pounds.Please contact me for more details via email: halifatmohammed1@shqiptar.eu Jazakallah Khair.


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Now, I can deal with the fact that this gender confused, radical religionist has two names. I can deal with the claim that he/she is making that a random name and email is chosen to inherit 18.2 million pounds; a fairly substantial amount of money. I can even deal with the fact that she ends the email by telling me "Jazakallah Khai" (Translated, May Allah bless you) and she attempts to steal my money. What I can not deal with is this crazy, cross-dressing zealot thinking that I am so intellectually inept that I would believe for ONE SECOND that with today's exchange rate, I would be paid in pounds. This is where she lost me. This was clearly not a legitimate offer for free money nor did she have any sincerity in her thieving heart when she placed Allah's blessings upon me. She was not my friend and would not be fooling me today. Not this guy. 

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Blog.

. . . It's 2:00 am. Everyone is in bed in a deep slumber in anticipation of tomorrow's busy day. I should be sleeping too as I have a very important meeting tomorrow morning. Still, my weary mind remains active and troubled. It's an especially dark and quiet night which only makes the situation seem more dire. Panic is starting to set in. I am alone. You ever notice that the harder you try to sleep the more awake you become? It's like your body is telling you it hates you and wants you to suffer. #%&$% you, body. I'm not going out like this. I've never cared much about you anyway, hence the chips and cigarettes and partying when I was younger. I abused you and understand your anger but if you let me get just one night of rest, I swear I'll treat you better. No time for pleading. What is that noise? Do you remember as a child when you would be all freaked out from the strange noises you would hear in the middle of the night and your parents would tell you that it was, "the house settling"? What does that even mean? I call BS.

My Dog is the only one who bothers to brave the cold night with me. He's a big, hairy, slobbery thing, but loyal. It doesn't help the situation that the slightest noise from outside sends him into an hour long panic in which he runs around the house whimpering in fear. This does wonders for my already unsettled heart. Still, I appreciate his nightly companionship despite the fact that he makes me feel like I am going to be murdered any moment because he heard a leaf blowing across the back patio.

So what drives this bothersome episode of insomnia, keeping me from enjoying the same serenity and peace as my unaware family? To tell you the truth, my impatient friends, it's this very blog!

Honestly, I've been wanting to put together a blog for some time now but factors in life and work and a minor, but nagging dose neurosis has kept me from doing so... until today. Now, I'm sure that you are wondering why starting a blog would take such a toll on my mind and sleeping patterns.  As nosey and intrusive as your constant questioning may be, I'll answer... I worry about failure. What if no one reads my blog. Even worse... what if they do and don't like it? Immediately, insecurity sets in prompting me to trash the entire idea. But, what kind of message would that send to the kids? Are we quitters? Do we live in fear? Are we conscious or even slightly aware of our imperfections? NO! So why worry?

I hope to update this regularly. Don't expect substance... don't expect meaning... don't expect "intellectual content." Expect an easy going blog that will focus on everything from craft beer and homebrewing to humorous stories in the news. I appreciate you stopping by and please check back soon.  Cheers and take care!